Lace, tulle, or satin on the gown? Farberware or Calphalon pots? A Shevy or a Kiki wig? A basement apartment (you have your own washer and dryer) or an apartment in a building (you have a built-in social life)? These are the decisions and subjects on the mind of a happy kallah.
Okay, so those are not the only topics on her mind. Hopefully, in addition to all the fun (and exhausting!) materialistic preparations for her upcoming wedding, she’s preparing spiritually for married life, too. And with Peace in Your Palace on her night table, she’s sure to begin her new marriage on the right foot.
Peace in Your Palace is the English translation of the best-selling Shalvah B’armenosayich, which has had several re-printings, in addition to being translated into Yiddish, too. It is the book containing the blueprints for how to build the most magnificent edifice—your very own bayis ne’eman b’Yisrael. Chock-full with real-life stories, wisdom and sayings of our Torah leaders, and practical advice for the Jewish wife, this book will enhance any marriage.
The book is available here for special 50% discount until June 11th.
Here’s a short excerpt:
Protecting Yourself
As the Chafetz Chaim noted, a person should never speak negatively about himself. Even within your own home, not every mistake or failure needs to be reported. Sometimes it’s best to keep those minor errors to yourself.
The newlyweds were leisurely opening their wedding presents in their new apartment. Shoshana carefully put the pretty set of dishes away in a kitchen cupboard. She couldn’t wait to use them at their first home-cooked meal.
To her dismay, as she was washing the dishes the following night, a plate slipped out of her hands and crashed against the bottom of the sink. Shoshana picked it up quickly, but it was too late—three ugly, jagged pieces were all that remained of the plate.
“I broke a dish last night,” she informed her husband Shmuel the next evening, as she served him supper.
And the next night: “I broke a glass.”
And the night after that: “I broke another dish.”
Days and weeks went by. Their dinner set was slowly disappearing. Shmuel began to caution Shoshana to be more careful. “Try moving slowly and gently. See if that helps.”
By now Shoshana was filled with anxiety every time she washed the dishes. Her nervous hands betrayed her, and she kept on dropping and breaking yet another plate or glass.
When Shmuel criticized her for being careless, Shoshana had had enough. “If you washed the dishes, you would break them too!” she exclaimed. “Starting tomorrow, you can do the washing up. Let’s see what happens!”
Shmuel was willing to meet his wife’s challenge. For an entire week he stood by the sink and washed the dishes after their meals. Every morning after he left the house, Shoshana would count the dishes in the cupboard. She was amazed to discover that not a single one was missing.
A week passed. “My turn is over. Now it’s your turn to begin washing the dishes again,” Shmuel announced.
Shoshana stood that night at her post. She carefully placed the dishes in the sink, filled it with water, reached for the soap and a sponge. But the soap made everything slippery, and before she knew it—crash! She had broken a soup bowl.
“I have to find a solution,” she thought to herself in frustration. “I can’t keep experiencing failure!”
Shoshana kept quiet that night. The next morning, she headed for a local housewares store. Look—they carried the same set of dishes! Now she could replace the bowl she had broken!
Shoshana approached a salesman. “Is it possible to purchase a single bowl, instead of the entire set?”
The salesman raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Of course! That set seems to be particularly popular lately. Just last week, a young man was in here every day—each day buying one dish from that very same set!”
It is perfectly acceptable to hide your shortcomings. You are not obligated to reveal every mistake you make, or divulge every one of your faults. Grandmothers of past generations used to bless young women with the ability to keep silent whenever possible, to hide unpleasant facts away—thereby preventing conflict and disappointment.
Everything in the right time … but in some instances, no time is ever right!