In case your kids haven’t reminded you a hundred times yet, yes, it is summer time, and yes, that means road trip time! For all those brave and hardy souls ready to take on the challenge of the road trip with a car-full of kids, here is some trusty, tried-and-true road trip advice from humorist Mordechai Schmutter, sure to put you in a great mood for that trip (that is, if you are still up to going on it after reading this…)!
(Excerpted from A Clever Title Goes Here)
Now it’s time for: “Road Trip Advice for People Who Don’t Know Better,” the only Question and Answer advice column to have been officially recognized by the American Automobile Association of America as being a bad idea to begin with. This column features well-meaning advice to actual questions on car travel sent in by actual readers who don’t actually exist. And so, without further ado, we shall begin:
Q: Why do families go on long car trips during the summer?
A: There are many different reasons why people decide to subject themselves to long summer drives. Some of them may be tired of the hot, stuffy city environment in which they live, and would feel more comfortable driving long distances with the windows rolled down while waiting for the air conditioner to stop blowing hot air, and fighting radio static. These people hope to eventually get to their bungalow colonies, where the air is thinner and the pool freezes over in the middle of the night.
Q: Why don’t they just move into the bungalows for good?
A: They’re not too crazy about living in 1700s-style huts, either.
Q: Are there any other reasons why people may want to drive long distances?
A: Some people may want to visit popular tourist attractions featuring friendly people with enormously misshapen heads, such as Disney World or one of the square states. Their goal is to spend as much money as they can to be able to wait on line.
Q: So why don’t they just go by plane?
A: Not that much money.
Q: I have a job in middle management, in which my duties include walking around with a coffee mug and bugging people for coming in late. Over the last few years, I have racked up an enormous amount of unused sick days, to the point where I can get marooned on a desert island and no one will know the difference. My question is this: Do you think it’s something in the coffee? Keep Reading…
Posted by anamericanjew 







