Sori Goldbaum was a lovely girl of marriageable age. However, practically every time a boy was redt to her, the suggestion was nixed faster than anyone had a chance to ask for a resume. No, it wasn’t that Sori had an overprotective older brother who shot down every suggestion because he “knew the boy personally” and the boy “just wasn’t good enough” for his sister. The reason for what was happening lay in the fact that Sori’s family was super stringent when it came to names for shidduchim. According to Rav Yehuda Hachassid, a girl may not marry a boy with the same name as her father, nor may a girl marry a boy whose mother has the same name as her. Sori’s family also held that the mechutanim cannot have any of the same names as each other.
What made things just a wee bit complicated here was the fact that Sori’s father, Dovid Goldbaum, had four names: Dovid Yosef Yehuda Leib. That meant that if a prospective boy, or his father, had Dovid, Yosef, Yehuda, or Leib in their names—the shidduch could not get off the ground. And…well, that explains Sori’s predicament.
Now, before all you readers become up in arms, let me assure you that there are many different opinions on this subject, and I will not be paskening any of your sheilos for you. What I will tell you, though, is that the entire topic is discussed in detail in Halachically Speaking Volume 4, the latest book in Rav Moishe Dovid Lebovits’s bestselling halachah series. In addition to the many other fascinating subjects that he discusses, such as the halachos of hafrashas challah, of paying a shadchan, and of affixing a mezuzah to a doorpost, in this book Rabbi Lebovits devotes an entire chapter to the customs brought down by Rav Yehuda Hachassid—including the ins and outs of names as they relate to shidduchim.
As is classic Rabbi Lebovits, everything is explained in a clear and forthright manner, so that you can easily understand all the various opinions on a halachic issue—and thus be in a better position to ask your own sheilah to your local Orthodox rabbi.
Oh, and about Sori…don’t worry about her. Thankfully, she got engaged recently, to a really nice boy…named Aharon Tzvi Hirsch.
Click here to purchase online.