There was something that just pulled you to Devorah. When she entered the room, a quiet sort of dignity followed her in. As subtle and refined as her conduct was, she exuded a radiance that was hard to miss.

I met Devorah in seminary. The first time I saw her, I could tell right away that this girl was special. She was the epitome of the word “tznius.” Everything about her, from her kosher neckline, to the demure style of her clothes, to her modest demeanor, shone with a tznius that was…beautiful. There is no other way to describe it.

But the amazing thing about it was that Devorah was no neb! To the contrary, she had a great personality, dressed tastefully, and was a lot of fun to be around. I was amazed at how she personified the fact that being a tznuah and being normal are not mutually exclusive. As Jewish women, we can—and should—be both.

That’s what The Tznius Challenge, The Tznius Connection strives to portray. This beautiful book offers the perspective of dozens of frum women and girls—normal women and girls, like you and me—whom the author interviewed on the topic of struggling for tznius.

Yes, you read that right. This is not just another hashkafah book that will tell you how glorious the mitzvah of tznius is. While you’ll read about that in this book, too, The Tznius Challenge, The Tznius Connection gives most of its focus to identifying the common challenges we all face when it comes to dressing/behaving modestly, and providing chizuk to its readers so that they can feel strong enough to surmount those challenges each day.

We read about the specific challenges in tznius experienced by Bais Yaakov girls, seminary students, teachers, and homemakers. For some, it was the issue of not wearing loud and unrefined clothing and jewelry. For others, the struggle lay in maintaining an eidel composure in public even when just told exciting news. The common denominator of all the “tznius challenges” is the fact that none of them were easy to surmount.

Reading this book will show you that you are not alone in your struggle for tznius. Many others just like you have struggled with this mitzvah—and have triumphed; they now wear the glowing crown of tznius proudly upon their heads.

And like them, so can you.

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There we were, a bunch of preteen kids, sitting around the kitchen table on Yom Kippur afternoon, deep in a heated debate. We had just finished eating our “Yom Kippur seudah,” complete with hot cholent and all (“The easiest food ever to serve your kids,” my mother claimed), and now we were ready to bentch. The problem was, we couldn’t agree on whether or not to say “Ya’aleh V’yavo” in bentching. Some of my siblings were of the opinion that we should (“Yom Kippur is a Yom Tov, silly! Of course we say it!”). The rest of us thought that we should not, because the bentcher did not give the option of Yom Kippur in its list of occasions for saying “Ya’aleh V’yavo” (“So for sure we don’t! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”). Of course no one thought of finding an adult and asking him or her what we should do; that would be way too easy!

What we ended up doing, I don’t remember. But the  memory of arguing with my siblings over what the halachah was for us, a group of ketanim, stays with me and makes me chuckle when I think of it. Whether or not the barbs we threw at each other was quite in the Yom Kippur spirit, we did mean well—and hey, the argument occupied us for a decent amount of time, keeping us out of our parents’ hair for a bit more of the day!

The truth is, in addition to the above question that we kids came up with on that Yom Kippur, there are many, many sheilos that arise constantly in regard to the halachos pertaining to children.

Does a father need to buy daled minim for his under-bar-mitzvah-aged son? Can a boy dress up as a girl on Purim, and vice versa? May one diaper a baby in a room where there are sefarim? Does a two-year-old need to wait at all between eating a meat meal and drinking milk?

Rabbi Dovid Weinberger, noted rav, posek, and author, has contributed a jewel to the Torah world with the publication of his sefer Shema Beni—Halachos of Children and Chinuch Habanim. In this book, Rabbi Weinberger offers a clear and concise primer of the halachos, mitzvos, and customs applicable to minors, as well as the adults surrounding them. He discusses the many chinuch-related halachic questions that come up frequently in every Jewish household with children, and provides documented source material, from the Shulchan Aruch and leading poskim, both past and present, for everything.

If you are a parent who frequently finds yourself wondering if and how various halachos pertain to your child, you will want to check out this sefer.

And by the way, according to page 62 in the book, children, who are permitted to eat on Yom Kippur, do say “Ya’aleh V’yavo” in Birkas Hamazon.

(“See? I told you so!”)

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I’m chatting on the phone with my friend about giving Chanukah gifts to our kids’ teachers (a topic for a different article!), when she suddenly stops me and says, “Oh, my parenting teleconference class is starting soon. Let me call you back.”

Parenting teleconference class? I think to myself. Now doesn’t that sound official! And her oldest child is just six years old!

Intrigued, I decide to ask my friend more about this class when I speak to her later. To my surprise, she begins gushing its praises, telling me how the class is totally changing her way of viewing her children’s misbehaviors; how it’s giving her so many practical tools to use when dealing with her little ones; how it’s the best thing in the world; and how every parent on Planet Earth should be taking this course. Well, she doesn’t exactly say that last line—but the message comes through loud and clear!

When I hang up with her, you’d better believe how gung-ho I am about signing up for this “parenting teleconference class” myself!

What is it about parenting our children these days that makes so many of us run to the nearest parenting class available, teleconference or otherwise, without stopping to collect $200 first (though, in the process, we will actually find ourselves paying that much, or even more!)? Are our parenting skills so lacking in all of us that we can’t do our job without the help of professionals?

The truth is, as any parenting expert will tell you, raising kids these days is a whole lot more challenging than it ever was. Between the media and secular influences and it being the “instant gratification” generation, raising children b’derech haTorah in our day and age is up against a lot of struggles and opposition.

Which is why so many parents and educators are turning to professionals for help with raising their children. And which is why parenting classes and books have recently become so popular.

But, as my friend will rush to assure you, not all parenting classes are created equal…and neither are all parenting books.

50 Pathways to Parenting Wisdom is a parenting book in its own class. Written by Shira Frank, LCSW, a social worker with over thirty years of experience, who has been working in private practice for over twenty years and whose areas of specialization include family therapy and parent training, this book offers fifty techniques, all practical and easy to implement, to raising children in today’s world. From teaching children coping mechanisms, to dealing with specific behavioral challenges, to working with teenage issues and unique family situations (such as divorce and step-families), the advice in this book is broad-ranging as it is relevant to all parents of the 21^st century. Boasting haskamos from Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky shlit”a, Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski, and Dr. David Pelcovitz, as well as an Introduction by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller, 50 Pathways to Parenting Wisdom is a book that you, as a parent, will want to consult with over and over again on  your child-rearing journey.

May all parents be blessed with the wisdom to know how best to educate each of their children, and may we all have much Yiddishe nachas from our families!

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Is your little one not so little anymore and still refusing to let go of his or her pacifier? Have you tried nearly every method possible to get your child to give it up? Do you feel yourself saying, “Take that pacifier out of your mouth!” numerous times each day?

If so, your child may be the perfect candidate for our newest book by S. Licht, creator of the Super Social Skills series, called Goodbye, Pacifier! In this book, we meet Shauli, who’s becoming bigger each day but who still has a very hard time being without his trusty pacifier. We follow Shauli and his mother as she begins the process with him that gradually leads to…Shauli throwing out his pacifier. For good.

As would be expected, it’s not an easy process for Shauli. His pacifier has been his comfort for so long—how can he fall asleep without it? How can he walk around and play without it in his mouth? But with lots of praise and encouragement from his family, Shauli rises to the occasion and ultimately learns that the very best feeling of all, even better than the comfort of having a pacifier in his mouth, is the feeling of being a big boy!

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Question: What could be better than teaching your kids good middos by way of an adorable, beautifully illustrated children’s book?

Answer: When that children’s book comes along with its own Read-Along/Sing-Along CD!

Yup, that’s exactly what you’re getting when you purchase MiddosMan: Learning to Share, the first book in the exciting MiddosMan series for kids.

In this book, your kids will meet MiddosMan, who drives his very own MiddosMobile, wears a special MiddosMan outfit, and has a Mr.-Yetzer-Horah-detector machine that beeps loudly when Mr. Yetzer Horah is around. MiddosMan’s mission is to teach people how to have good middos, and in so doing, fight Mr. Yetzer Horah and his bad ideas.

As he works to accomplish his goals, MiddosMan sings his catchy little songs—which your children will be singing, too, as they listen to the CD that comes along with the book.

For those of you looking to delight your little ones with something special, MiddosMan: Learning to Share book-and-CD-set is the perfect gift idea!

Click here to purchase online.

For a preview of the read-along CD click here.

When you’ve taken one bite of a heavenly, melt-in-your-mouth, nougat-filled, Viennese-crunch-covered piece of chocolate (hungry for some, anyone?), well, there’s no stopping at just that one piece! You’re bound to reach for another piece…and then another…and then another…

That’s the way it is with Rachel Stein’s short story books for tweens. Her first collection of short stories, The Story that Never Ends, was so tantalizing, that many of her tween fans wanted more. And since we at Israel Bookshop do our best to deliver…here you have it, the release of Guilt-Free Chocolate, a delicious, new collection of short stories that the special tween in your life will absolutely devour, without any guilt whatsoever!

In Guilt-Free Chocolate, tweens will read about kids their own age, kids just like them, who have struggles and triumphs that they can relate to oh-so-well. We recommend this as a great reading book for any tween-aged kid. So sit back with it, relax, and enjoy—and bon appetite!

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Okay, it’s 19 years later and it’s time to fess up: I’m the one who put the porcelain butter dish in the grab bag. I was invited to a Chanukah party but only decided to go at the last minute. There was going to be a grab bag and each person had to put one inexpensive gift inside. How could I go if I had nothing to give?

That’s when inspiration struck – I could give the new butter dish, or more precisely, the extra butter dish. Somehow I had justified buying two of them when we set up house, only to hear my husband say

“Does anyone use these things?”

“Some people do,” I had assured him, and hoped I was still enough in the know to be right about that.

And so, I timidly began to use one of the off-white dish and cover sets, while the other sat collecting dust. Until Chanukah,when it became my ticket in to that big, crowded party. I went with a friend. We didn’t speak about the grab bag on the way there. But there was plenty to talk about on the way home…

“Whaddya get?” I innocently inquired.

“I actually don’t know,” she said as she reached into her bag and began the show and tell. “What do you think it’s for?”

“Hmmn,” I said v-e-r-y slowly. “Looks like a butter dish.”

“Who gives a butter dish as a Chanukah present? Does anyone still use these things?” She asked, with an expression most often seen on the face of someone sitting in the back seat – who is car sick.

“Some people do,” I managed to mumble. After that, I changed the topic. I spoke about how hard it was to maneuver my new stroller. I spoke about how what it took to get out of the house that night. And I spoke about anything else that came to mind, just to fill the air time. I didn’t have it in me to tell her I was the person responsible for her disappointing gift. I also knew that she would be embarrassed to know she had just badmouthed my humble Chanukah offering, to my face.

That night I learned it’s better to show up empty handed sometimes (Yup. A few ladies did that, smiled sweetly, and somebody still let them come in and nosh on latkes! They just couldn’t pick a prize from the grab bag, that’s all.) and I also learned that it’s better to keep secrets sometimes. In fact, even though I speak to that friend on an almost weekly basis, I still haven’t told her. Hopefully by now she would just laugh it off, but who knows? Why stir up unnecessary friction?

If that’s how awkward it can be to keep a minor secret, what’s it like to be sitting on top of a massive secret that’s as volatile as a volcano? When the Clouds Part can answer that question. It’s a novel with real life flavor.

At the center is Motty Kleinman, a small baby with big secrets; secrets that his family tries desperately to guard. Some of the story eventually leaks out and it’s clear who the culprit is – Osnat, the friendly but too-talkative teenage girl their family has taken in for the year. Accusations fly and Osnat flees without a trace. How could she? Why would she?

A generation later we also meet Motty’s niece, seventeen-year-old Dassi. Dassi has a secret too: She’s not everything she’s cracked up to be. When she quickly resigns from her position as a Bnos group madrichah, everybody “knows” the reason why. In fact, they all think so well of her because of it – but they’re all totally wrong!

Between the lines of this story that spans decades, are many silent but pointed questions:

When do you keep secrets, and at what price?

What is it like to gain a false reputation? Is it worth fighting it?

Can severed relationships ever really be mended?

If you do the right thing for the wrong reason is it still a good thing?

You’re invited to read this emotionally charged, illuminating book and see what conclusions you reach. And, if you also happen to be invited to a Chanukah party and are asked to bring a gift for a grab bag,take it from me and just give something safe, like a box of Kleenex and this book!

-Guest Blogger: Sara Miriam Gross

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