Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer, which means that he’s available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and any event where you want your guests to sit around and watch someone write. He can also write speeches for said events, as well as various other copies for businesses, entertainment purposes, and personal use. He spends a lot of his time standing in front of a classroom and trying to convince high school students to let him teach them to write. Mordechai is also the author of the books, Don’t Yell “Challah!” in a Crowded Matzah Bakery, A Clever Title Goes Here, and a brand new release, This Side Up! which can be purchased online by clicking here.
Here’s an excerpt to enhance your simachas Yom Tov:
Sukkos Gelt
We are lucky to live in an age (29, if anyone asks) where we have tons of inventions to make Jewish life easier, such as shtenders and Havdalah candles and seedless watermelon. We also have gefilte fish, which was created so that people could avoid picking out bones on Shabbos. I think that’s amazing. I mean, people didn’t like picking seeds out of the watermelons either, but no one decided to take them apart, pull out the seeds, grind up the rest and serve them in loaves with a piece of carrot on top.
Sukkos, in particular, has a lot of inventions associated with it, and they come out with ten new ones every year, kind of like they do on Pesach with Haggados. Also chumros.
Take s’chach mats, for example. This was something we didn’t even know we needed. For years, everyone used bamboo for their sukkos, and everything was fine, except for the occasional pole coming through a window. You bought the poles at a sukkah outlet, and you tied them to the roof of your car and drove home very carefully, with one hand on the roof, just in case.[1] But poles were versatile, and it was easy to hang decorations from them, like fake fruit and bee traps. (Bees love honey, so bee traps are another great invention, although they’re a lot more effective if you put them OUTSIDE your sukkah. The same goes for bear traps.) But then someone came up with the idea of s’chach mats, where you stand at one end of the sukkah and just roll the whole thing out like a tablecloth, and voila – it sags all over the place. Especially when you try to hang heavy things, such as bee traps. Also, if you don’t tie the mat down, it catches the wind like a sail and blows off down the street. Keep Reading…
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